Did I Do Something Wrong?
by esmeblaise
Summary: Dave Strider is worried about John. For the last two months he's been acting weird. Deciding to confront John, Dave goes to his house and learns Johns biggest secret. Hammertime Pepsicola Rated for cussing / bullying / cutting / and some other stuff that I wont mention for spoilers :) NOW BEING CONTINUED!
1. Chapter 1

**Homestuck belongs to Hussie**

**Sorry for OOC this is my first Homestuck FanFic**

**Rated for bullying and cussing (because Homestuck isn't Homestuck without swearing)**

* * *

- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 15 : 24 - -

TG: hey john

TG: john

TG: egderp

TG: your killing me here

TG: seriously

TG: im dying

TG: dead

TG: im not even joking

TG: you just killed me

TG: your best friend

TG: I hope your happy

EB: hi dave!

TG: there you are

EB: sorry I was

EB: busy.

EB: did you need something?

TG: do I have to need something to talk to my best friend

TG: like if I didnt need something then I woudnt be aloud to talk to you

TG: I would be shunned from you

TG: and forced to come up with a reason

TG: and I wouldnt be able to

TG: so on my deathbed I would finally come up with something

TG: but it would be to late

TG: and I would die

TG: alone and ironicly old

TG: but still totally cool

EB: daaaaaaave!

EB: your rambling!

TG: but yeah

TG: I need to talk to you

TG: its important

TG: like

TG: im not even going to be ironic its so important

TG: im just going to ask you

EB: what is it?

TG: john

TG: did I do something wrong?

EB: what?! No!

EB: why would you think that?!

TG: well for one

TG: youve been avoiding me for the past two weeks

EB: no I havnt!

TG: uh yeah you have

TG: I havnt actually seen you since last tuesday

TG: and its fucking friday

TG: and whenever I do see you

TG: you always turn around and go in the opposite direction

EB: iv just been busy!

TG: too busy to hang out with your best fucking friend

TG: wait

TG: am I even still your best friend?

TG: or have I moved down the ironic friend latter

TG: am I just a friend now john?

TG: or am I a acquaintance?

TG: am I even on the ironic friend latter?

EB: of course you are dave!

EB: youll always be my best friend!

TG: okay

TG: im coming over

EB: what!

EB: no!

EB: you cant!

EB: dave!

EB: dave!

- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 15 : 37 - -

EB: shit

* * *

Your name is Dave Strider and you are worried about John.

For the last two months he's been acting odd; spending less time with you, no longer smiling, and talking quieter. Its gotten so bad that he has been avoiding you, his bright, bubbly laugh seem like a distant memory.

As you walk the two blocks to his house you go over every conversation you had with him, wondering what you could have possibly done, or missed, to make him act like this. And although you find many mistakes on your part, none of them seem bad enough to push away the love of your life.

Oh, you also have a major, completely homo crush on your best friend that you have harbored for the last four years. And though you have tried your best to not let it show and scare off your friend, you fear that you might let something slip and lose him.

Your pulled from your thoughts as you arrive and Johns house, and, with no car in the driveway, you conclude that Dadbert is still at work, leaving John home alone.

After a few dozen knocks on the door and several pushings of the doorbell, the entrance opens just enough for you to see Johns eye peek through the gap at you.

"Uh, h-hi Dave!" he stutters.

"Mind opening the door a bit Egderp?"

You see him flinch -_flinch-_ at the nickname and he looks at the ground quickly before stammering out, "Uh, yes actually... Um, I'm kinda busy right now, and cant have any visitors so you have to go... like now..."

"Can you at least _open the door _and say that?" You ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Um, no..."

"You sure about that?"

"Y-yes..."

"Then you give me no choice."

"What?" He looks up questioningly before his eyes widen as he realizes what your going to do and jumps back as you kick the door open, being careful not to break it or him.

But when you look up, you freeze, your heart stops and suddenly you cant breath. And as you stare John, he does the same, and although he looks smaller than ever, his eyes are wide and full of fear.

Because your crush, your beautiful, amazing John; is covered in blood.

* * *

In less than a second your next to John, holding his shoulders, and staring into his blue as the sky eyes, and just one word comes out of your mouth.

"Who?!"

John stares in horror for another ten seconds before looking back at the ground, "D-d-da..." He shuts his eyes and shakes his head, "I thi-ink you sh-should go..." He voice holds nothing but fear and despair, and you hate it.

"John." Your voice is firm, even though on the inside your breaking, "Who. Did this." John simply shakes his head again, his beautiful eyes still closed.

You bite your lip before letting go of his shoulders and walking to the door. John stays in the same position, but his entire body is shaking.

You close the door and turn back to John. His eyes snap open as you take his hand and lead him to the bathroom. Any other time you would be ecstatic for this contact, but right now, you just feel empty, yet a flurry of emotions bubbled inside of you. Angry at however _dared _to touch _your _John. Sad at Johns current state, and guilty at yourself for not noticing earlier.

Gently sitting him on the bathroom floor, you dig through the cabinet until emerging with the first aid kit. Kneeling down next to him, you carefully pull his now red hoodie off. John protests at first, but he knows better than to fight you at the moment, and only shuts his eyes again as yours widen, and take in the full damage.

Johns left eye was swollen, and his nose was bleeding, though it looked like he had already tried -and failed- to stem the flow. You can see bloody wounds through his light blue shirt and there's a large gash on both his legs. Purple bruises cover his entire body, many already covered in in band aids. But the thing that hurts you the most, the one that really rips out your heart, is the freshly coated razor on the counter and the self inflected gashes on his arms.

* * *

"John..." Your voice is weak, and doesn't sound like yours, but John crumbles and the noise and tears fall from his eyes, washing some of the blood from his cheeks. You want to cry yourself, but you know you have to stay strong for him. So you carefully take care of his wounds, and can feel yourself breaking as you tend to each one, not even wanting to think about what John is feeling like, has been feeling like. Just how long had this been going on? And how did you _not _notice?! What kind of best friend _doesnt notice _when his crush has been beaten to a bloody pulp. Gog. This is all your fau-

"Its not your fault..." Your head jerks up at the small, meek noise that escapes Johns lips.

"Yes it i-"

"No... its not." Tears leak from his eyes and it takes every ounce of strength to keep yourself from grabbing him. From holding him tight and promising to never let go, to make sure that nothing and no one ever hurt your beautiful blue eyed love.

You place the last band aid on and put away the first aid kit. Being careful as to not injure him further, you scoop John into your arms and carry him bridal style to his room. For a split second you fear he can hear just how fast your heart is beating as he grabs you, so as to not fall off, but you quickly dismiss it, deciding to focus on the matter at hand.

Softly setting him on his bed, you rummage through his shirt drawer and pull out his favorite- no, you are not a creepy stalker- before laying it next to him. As he strips from his bloody clothes- and you do your best not to blush like an anime school girl – you grab a couple blankets and sit next to John. Leaning back against the wall, you wrap John and yourself in a blanket cocoon .

Your both silent for a few minuets, each waiting for the other to speak until you break the ice.

"John, who did this to you?"

Your voice is firm, but your grip on him is soft, and, after a bit more silence, John answered, "Everyone."

"What?"

"Everyone did this..."

You shake your head, "John, I need specifics so I can beat those shit heads up."

"No!"

"No?"

"No." John shakes his head and you can feel his tears drip onto your shirt.

"John, these people hurt y-"

"They were just being nice!"

* * *

"_What?!" _

John trembles and nods, "They were just being nice."

"John, how the fuck was beating the crap out of you indicate them being _'nice'_?"

"Th-they were just t-telling me my flaws... so, I could fix myself..."

"You aren't a fucking English paper John, and they're not your editors."

John just shook his head again, giving you enough time to decide that beating the shit out these people wasn't enough. Before your mind could ponder at witch burning, John crept out of the blanket cocoon and shuffled under his bed before uncovering a shoe box and placing it in front of you.

Some part of you knew what lay inside -the part that knew just how terrifying high school could be- but nothing could prepare you for its contents, or the sharp inhale of air you had to take.

Letters.

Notes.

Scraps of paper really.

There was nothing special about the paper itself, most were ripped out of notebooks, some were typed, you even saw a few bright pink ones.

It was the words that made them scary.

They started out simple enough, things you get called in fifth grade really, _'Dork', 'Nerd', 'Geek'. _But they quickly got worse. '_Faggot' 'Freak' ''Pussy' _

Most were a quick, simple, and only stung a little. But the box was over flowing, chalk full of insults. You slowly picked up the pink paper, all of which had a pretty rose design and curly blue writing. It was clearly all from the same person, and you had a horrible feeling that she was the main antagonist.

_'You really should just die Egderp, you know no one wants you here'_

_'Hows your suicide plans coming along Egderp?'_

_'You know you don't have any friends right Egderp?'_

_'Egderp, stop hurting everyone! You know your just a burden right?'_

_'I feel bad for your dad Egderp, did you apologize to him yet?'_

_'Your mom left because of you Egderp.'_

_'Egderp, you know your 'friends' are still with you out of pity right?'_

_'Rose already has a book on therapy published, Jade is a science genius, Dave is the coolest guy in school. Stop burdening these great people with your uselessness Egderp!'_

_3 V_

* * *

'Egderp' your special nickname for John. Being used by this bitch. You looked up from the letters, your throat feels dry and you can feel tears starting to well up behind your shades. "John, how long has this been going on?" You were surprised you were able to make a coherent sentence, but decided to hold the applause for later.

John shuffled his feet a bit before sitting back on the bed and carefully putting each letter back, leaving the ones from "V" for last. You waited patiently and was about to ask again after he re-hid the box, but John spoke first, "Which part?"

"What do you mean?" You felt a sudden feeling of dread fill up inside of you.

"Because the cutting only started a three weeks ago, and the physical teaching started four months ago." You felt yourself flinch as the pieces of the puzzle started coming together, "The notes though, those started three years ago."

John paused and played with a hole in his jeans before finally saying, "But the name calling began in first grade."

Instinct took over and you pulled John back into the cocoon, your arms wrapped around him, you felt a tear fall.

"Why didn't you tell me?!"

John stiffened and you could swear you felt his heart stop before he scrambled to the other side of the bed.

"John...?" He just shook his head.

"Does Rose know?" he hesitated before nodding and you let out a sigh of relief you didn't know you were holding.

"Does Jade know?" John nodded again after a brief pause.

"Does your dad know?"

"He _cant!"_

"John? What do you mean he cant?"

"I haven't seen him in four months..."

"_What?!"_

"His work schedule changed... The only contact Iv had with him is through his 'fatherly notes'"

"John... _Why didn't_ you tell _me_?!"

A shake of his head.

"John, this is important!"

Another shake

"John, please, I'm your best friend! I should know when something like this happens, especially if its been going on for _years_! I should kn-"

"Exactly...'

"What?"

John gripped his arms, his back toward you, "You weren't supposed to find out..."

"Why not?"

John whipped around, tears pouring down his face and his entire body trembling, "_Because I didn't want you to hate me!"_

* * *

Once again, the only thing that could come out of your mouth was "What?!"

"I didn't want you to hate me..." John slid back down to the bed, looking weak and lifeless.

You chose your words carefully, afraid of hurting him more, "John, why would you think that if I found out you were being bullied, I would hate you?"

John took a deep breath before saying something that had been on his mind since he had first met Dave.

"I was afraid. I was afraid that if you found out how stupid, and ugly, and weak I was, then you wouldn't want to be my friend anymore. I was afraid because your so cool, and smart, and... well, _amazing _that you wouldn't want to be friends with a dork like me..." He took a deep shuddering breath, "I know you don't really like me Dave, and that I'm just a... a... _ironic friend _so you could seem cooler, but I was so _stupid_ I thought you actually liked me! I'm sorry it took so long for me to realize just how useless I am, I know I'm just holding you back Dave... Jade is my cousin, and Rose has been using me for her therapy training, but you... you don't have to hang out with me anymore Dave, you can leave now, and, I wont follow you like a lost puppy..."

You feel broken.

You feel like your heart had just been ripped out and smashed to a million pieces, and then thrown into a volcano.

You wonder just how long John had been doubting,

Just how long he decided he was worthless.

Just how long he felt like he didn't deserve you.

Just how long he had given up.

* * *

You stand up and put your shades in your pocket.

You walk over to John and pull him into a hug.

You pull back and take Johns hands in yours.

"John.

Your smart, and nice, and funny. You have a horrible taste in movies and hair that defy gravity. Your eyes are the prettiest I have ever seen, even if they are behind glasses. You have buck teeth that somehow make you cuter than physically possible and for some unknown reason like Nick Cage."

You really, _really _hope this works. It could either give him the strength and comfort he needs to continue with life, or it could mentally shatter him and cause him to commit a violent suicide.

You hope its the first one.

You lean down, and kiss John Egbert; the love of your fucking life.

His lips are soft, and sweet, and taste like heaven. They are everything you fantasized they'd be and would give away your turntables just so you could stay like this forever.

But Johns needs are more important.

You pull away first, and keep your eyes closed,fearing the look on his face before saying

"And I fucking love you."

You wait another three seconds before saying, "John, you are the most important person in the universe. So please, _please, _stop hurting yourself. Your dad loves you, Jade loves you, Rose loves you, and I love you. But your opinion matters, and _nothing _on those cards is true. You are _not _and _never _were just an 'ironic friend'. Please John, don't give up. If you really want me to leave though, I will."

You open your eyes, but avoid looking at him, afraid of what was there. Anger? Disgust? Hatred?

Sighing, you turn to leave, before a hand grabs yours.

You dare not move, not breath, not think, just listen.

"Dave... Is what you said true...?"

You nod, still not looking at him.

"So, you love me?"

You gulp and nod again.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid you would hate me."

"Dave?"

"Yes...?"

"I never want to be alone again."

"John..."

"Dave Strider; I have been in love with you since third grade."

* * *

Your name is Dave Strider and you are currently cuddling in a blanket cocoon and are kissing your best friend.

You know he's broken, and you know he'll never be the same.

But he has you.

And he has his friends.

And although "V" is still out there with most of the high school population. And although Dadbert is never home, you know John is going to be okay.

Because, he did nothing wrong.

He just needed a better editor.

* * *

**Holy shit, super sappy ending =P**

**I did not intend the ending to be that fucking sappy but thats what you get when you stay up till three in the morning writing fanfiction... I was going to make this a bunch of chapters but I decided it would be better for everyone if I just up and finished it instead of forgetting and have a major cliff hanger for three months...**

**So yeah... Review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay! Chapter 2! The entire story has been plotted out and it looks like everything will work :) Sorry it took so long, but I literally re-wrote this 9 times **

**I dont own Homestuck**

* * *

"John?"

"Mmhm?" Your head was leaning against Dave's chest, muffling the reply.

"Why are you so skinny?"

You stopped counting Dave's heartbeats to ponder at the question. After a minuet of thinking you shifted slightly and slowly answered, "Well... Its not that I'm _not _eating, its just... Food is stressful... I'm not a very good cook and I don't like going to the cafeteria..." You shuddered slightly at the memory of spaghetti sliding down your shirt, "So I only eat when necessary..."

Dave just sat there a moment before crawling out of the blankets. There was a terrifying moment where you thought you did something wrong, but the fear drained away when Dave held out his hand to help you up, "You coming John, or do I have to carry you again?"

You immediately blushed. _'Hit that nail right on the head.' _Dave smirked, immediately reading your mind, and a second later you were back in his arms.

You let out a rather embarrassing squawk in surprise, your hands immediately latching onto him, "D-Dave! I _can _walk!"

"I know."

Your face turned brighter as he repositioned you and headed down to the kitchen. After carefully depositing you in a chair, he started checking the cabinets.

"So what do you wanna eat?"

You raised an eyebrow, "Since when can you cook?"

"I took a Home Ec class for ironic purposes last year."

"And you _remembered?_"

"Well I have to be a good housewife, don't I?"

You laughed lightly, the sound harsh from lack of use, but noticed that there was a lot more honesty in Dave's voice than in the past.

"Anyways, you didn't answer the question. "

"Hmm..." You really wanted him to surprise you, but after a lifetime of knowing about 'Strider Surprises' you knew never go down that road again. Finally you hesitantly asked, "Can you make grilled cheese?"

"Hell yes Egbert. I can make a grilled cheese like nobody can, this will be so-" You tuned out Dave's 'Cheese Rant', instead turning your attention to your phone, which had been dinging for the past few minuets.

* * *

-tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16 : 57 -

TT: John?

TT: John are you there?

TT: You are starting to worry me John.

TT: John, I swear, if you do not reply then I will come over there myself.

EB: rose!

TT: Thank God. You have not answered anyone in over an hour.

TT: Your poor cousin is about to alert the authorities of a missing person.

EB: sorry rose :(

EB: I didnt mean for anyone too worry...

TT: Can you please inform me about what you have been preoccupied with?

EB: oh...

EB: yeah, I guess you and jade have the right too know

EB: I just dont know where to start...

TT: The beginning is often a good place.

EB: alright

EB: well...

EB: today was really bad

EB: I had another 'physical teaching'

TT: Yes, I remember you informing me of this.

EB: so I was...

EB: I was cutting

TT: Oh dear, I do hope you did not pass out from blood loss.

EB: dont worry!

EB: thats not what

EB: uh

EB: preoccupied me

EB: dave started pestering me

EB: and he said he was coming over

EB: and there wasnt any time to clean up so I was covered in blood

EB: when he got here he kinda forced his way in

EB: and then he

EB: um

EB: he saw me

TT: Oh my.

TT: What was his reaction?

EB: shocked I think

EB: and angry

EB: he also seemed sad

TT: Interesting.

TT: Please continue.

EB: ok, so he took my hand and cleaned me up

TT: Did he say anything?

EB: yeah, he kept asking who did it, when, why I didnt say anything

TT: Did you reply?

EB: yeah

EB: I

EB: rose, I told him everything

TT: What is your definition of "everything"?

EB: everything everything

EB: the cutting, the notes, names, "physical teaching"

EB: and my fear

TT: The one where Dave doesn't actually like you?

EB: yeah...

TT: What happened next John?

EB: he...

EB: oh god rose

EB: I was so scared

TT: I know John, just let it out.

EB: he kissed me

EB: dave strider, the cool kid I have been in love with for years, kissed me

EB: and he said he loves me

EB: and

EB: and I said I loved him

TT: Well this is a rather large turn of events.

EB: yeah

TT: How are you feeling John?

EB: happy

EB: really really happy

EB: and also a little scared

TT: Scared of what John?

EB: that this is just a dream

TT: Don't worry John, Dave has been aware of his feelings for about three years now.

EB: really?

TT: Yes John; really.

TT: Where is Dave now?

EB: hes making me some food

TT: Alright, I think I shall go then.

EB: ok, bye rose!

EB: oh wait!

TT: Yes?

EB: can you not tell anyone?

EB: I mean, jade is fine

EB: in fact I would like you to tell her

EB: but no one else

TT: Of course John, but may I ask why?

EB: well... its not really official yet

TT: Alright John.

TT: If I may comment however, you seem to have not told Dave something.

EB: oh, yeah

EB: well I dont think its that much a problem anymore...

TT: Whatever you think is best. But if it gets bad again, I urge you to tell him.

EB: ok rose

EB: oh, I have to go

EB: bye!

TT: Goodbye John.

- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 17 : 11-

* * *

"Everything OK?" Dave asked, setting the plate in front of John.

"Yeah, I was just talking to Rose."

"I am so sorry." You smirked and took a bite of the warm sandwich.

"Holy shit, you really _can _cook!"

"Told you I was the housewife."

As you ate the "Hot melted cheese between toasty bread" as Dave called it, he messaged someone on his phone. After finally finishing the grilled cheese, you worked up the nerve to ask who he was talking to.

"Rose," He replied, "Originally it was Jade, but I was able to escape her clutches pretty quickly." You laugh, but his next sentence makes you go silent, "So, you told the girls 'bout our beautiful Lack-Of-Single-Ship?"

You curl in on yourself and avert your eyes, "I'm sorry... I should have asked first..."

Dave's hand instantly found yours, the other putting away his phone, "Hey, it's OK John, in fact, it lets me know that you want to be in a relationship."

You immediately look up, "Of course I want to-!" You're cut of by Dave's lips pressing against your own. The kiss is sweet, and ends much to quickly for your liking.

When you pull away Dave is smiling again. He glances at the empty plate before "sweeping you off your feet" again.

You let out an exasperated sigh,"Dave! You don't _have_ to carry me!"

"I want to." A smile stretched across your face as you saved that thought away for later, "So what do _you _want to do?"

"Cuddle."

The words left your mouth before you could stop them, effectively turning your face bright red.

Dave just laughed however, the full on beautiful laugh that he only does in front of you, before responding, "I can definitely work with that."

When you get to your room Dave set up your laptop as you remake the blanket cocoon. When your satisfied with the pillows Dave shuts off the light before slipping the movie into your computer. When the menu pops up you gasp and turn to your cuddle buddy, "We don't have to watch Con Air! I know you don't really like it..."

He kisses your forehead before clicking play, "If he makes you happy then Nick Cage isn't that bad."

You grin again, curling into Dave as his hand slips around your waist. You go back to counting his heartbeats as his other hand strokes your hair, and you wonder what the hell you ever did to deserve this.

* * *

Dave smiled down at your sleeping form, wondering if he had ever seen anything so fucking adorable in his life. It takes him less than a second to decide that it wasn't scientifically possible for that to be an option. He then turned his attention to his phone, which had been put on vibrate somewhere around the second movie.

- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 01: 34 –

GG: omg dave! omg!

GG: I still cant believe it!

GG: you and john! 3 3 3

TG: yo

GG: there you are!

GG: are you really dating john?!

GG: this is so exiting!

GG: 3 3 3 3

TG: calm down harley

TG: and enough of the exclamation points

TG: and the cheesy hearts

GG: sorry dave! Im just so exited!

GG: oops! Sorry! :)

TG: its fine

TG: you need something? your usually asleep round now

TG: asleep like a baby

TG: in a fucking crib

TG: rocking to sleep

TG: while your demondog sings a lullaby

GG: hehe! I know :)

GG: but you didnt say much when I talked to you!

GG: I need more info dave!

GG: and rose is busy with kanaya

TG: what info do ya need?

GG: all the info!

GG: I heard you kissed john! ;)

GG: and now your dating him!

TG: seems like you already have the info

GG: rose said you found out about the bullying!

TG: yeah

GG: how much of it?

TG: cutting, notes, names, and 'physical teaching'

TG: what even is 'physical teaching'

TG: like tripping?

TG: shoving into lockers?

GG: oh...

GG: well...

GG: thats part of it...

GG: but mostly its...

GG: um...

TG: harley

TG: tell me

TG: this is important

GG: oh...

GG: alright...

GG: I guess the easiest way to put it is

GG: um

GG: john will get pulled into alleys and be beat up

GG: …

GG: dave?

GG: are you still there?

TG: yeah...

TG: im just in shock

GG: id make a comment about shocking a cool kid but this really isnt the time...

TG: yeah

TG: I think im gonna go now

GG: ok

GG: im sorry :(

TG: no

TG: im glad you told me

TG: and yeah

TG: john and me are dating

TG: and we kissed

GG: hehe!

GG: I cant wait until nepeta finds out!

GG: shes been shipping you two for years!

TG: nice to know

TG: johns waking up

TG: bye harley

GG: hehe! Bye dave!

GG: 3

TG: oh it seems john didnt tell you something!

- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 1 : 47 –

GG: oh dear

GG: I guess he'll have to find out later :/

* * *

"Mhhm... Dave...?"

"Shhh, I'm right here John."

Dave set his phone on the desk before worming back into your reach.

"Hmmm... thought you were... you left..." You mumbled, holding onto him.

Dave wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close, "Shhh, its OK John, Im right here." You grinned and snuggled against him, your hand latched onto his, scared he would slip away.

Dave made a promise to himself to never let that happen.

* * *

**Sorry its not as long, but we got some nice foreshadowing in there. **

**Rose was really annoying to write -_-**

**Please review!**


End file.
